Lessons
When Democracy Is Covered in Smoke
There is no storm.
The sky has turned the color of rain, yet no rain comes. The sun has disappeared behind a curtain of smoke drifting south from fires burning hundreds of miles away. We step outside expecting relief, but instead find air so thick it catches in our throats. Our eyes sting. The horizon fades. Familiar landmarks vanish into a gray haze.
It is unsettling because the danger is real, even if its source is distant.
Lately, I have found myself thinking that our democracy feels much the same.
We wake each morning trying to see clearly, only to discover that the landscape has become obscured. Truth is difficult to distinguish from propaganda. Facts compete with manufactured outrage. Institutions we once assumed would endure without question now seem fragile. We search for certainty but find only silhouettes.
Smoke does not destroy a forest by itself. It hides what is happening inside it.
That may be the greatest danger facing our republic. When our vision is clouded, we begin to doubt our own eyes. We become disoriented. We stop recognizing familiar ground. We wait for someone else to tell us whether it is safe to move forward.
Democracy rarely disappears in a single dramatic moment. More often, it is concealed behind a slow-moving haze of indifference, intimidation, half-truths, and exhaustion. Little by little, the air becomes harder to breathe. We adjust without realizing how much we have surrendered.
Like these Canadian fires, the consequences do not respect borders. A spark ignited elsewhere can darken the skies over our own homes. Likewise, an attack on the rule of law, a diminished respect for elections, a weakened free press, or the normalization of political violence may begin in one place, but its smoke reaches us all.
We cannot command the wind to clear the skies. We cannot wish the smoke away.
But neither can we surrender to it.
When visibility is poor, we move more carefully, not less. We rely on our compass rather than our comfort. We protect one another until the air clears. The same must be true of democracy. We must insist on facts over fiction, courage over convenience, participation over apathy, and principle over partisanship. These are not partisan ideals; they are the oxygen of a free society.
Eventually, the winds will change. The skies will brighten. The sun, though hidden today, has not ceased to exist.
The question is whether, when the smoke finally lifts, we will still recognize the democracy waiting beneath it—or whether we will discover that while we were straining to see through the haze, we failed to notice what was quietly slipping away.
Smoke eventually clears.
Democracy only does if enough people refuse to let it disappear.
My Birthday, May 8, 2026
Another birthday.
The body keeps score,
but the mind keeps receipts.
I woke this morning with the familiar inventory:
a knee that predicts rain better than meteorologists,
reading glasses that vanish while sitting on my head,
the alarming realization
that people born in 2004
are now old enough to explain technology to me slowly.
I have become the person
who says things like,
“Music was better when musicians suffered properly,”
while eating cereal for dinner
because adulthood is mostly exhaustion
decorated with throw pillows.
And still—
there is coffee.
There is sunlight crawling across the kitchen floor
like it has nowhere more important to be.
There is the miracle of someone texting,
“Thinking of you today.”
Three words.
Tiny candles against the dark.
I used to believe joy arrived
like fireworks—
loud,
cinematic,
deserved.
Now I think joy is sneakier than that.
It hides in ordinary places:
the cashier who calls you honey,
the dog asleep in impossible trust,
the friend who remembers your old stories
and asks for them again anyway.
The world, meanwhile,
is auditioning daily for its own collapse.
Wars bloom on screens beside weather reports.
Children practice lockdown drills
before multiplication tables.
Truth has become a competitive sport.
Outrage has a rewards program.
Some mornings it feels irresponsible to laugh.
But maybe laughter is not surrender.
Maybe it is resistance.
Maybe joy is not naïve.
Maybe joy is the stubborn refusal
to let cruelty have the final line.
I think about how many birthdays
I wasted waiting
to become a better version of myself—
thinner,
calmer,
more organized,
less human.
What a strange thing:
to postpone gratitude
until you become imaginary.
So today,
I will celebrate the flawed architecture.
This face,
still carrying every year like a handwritten note.
This heart,
patched together more times than anyone knows.
This life,
which did not become perfect
but did become interesting.
And perhaps that is enough.
Perhaps surviving long enough
to learn tenderness
is its own astonishing achievement.
Tonight I will blow out candles
while pretending not to count them,
surrounded by people equally confused by existence,
and together we will eat cake
as if sugar itself were hope.
Which, honestly,
it sometimes is.
After the Applause, the Sound: Reflecting on the White House Correspondence Dinner 4/25/26
The Courage to Be Called Wicked
WHEN SEEING BECOMES AN ACT OF DEFIANCE
There are moments when a single death feels heavier than death itself—when it becomes a symbol, a question mark burned into the public conscience. The murder of Rene Nicole Good is one of those moments. Not only because a life was taken, but because of what followed: the silence, the distortion, the insistence that we look away from what our own eyes and instincts tell us is wrong.
Authoritarianism does not always arrive in boots and banners. More often, it comes softly, wearing the language of order, safety, and expertise. It asks for trust while dismantling accountability. It does not demand belief outright—it conditions it. It repeats its version of events until exhaustion replaces scrutiny, until doubt feels impolite, even dangerous.
What we should fear is not merely violence, but the erasure that follows it. When a government insists that its narrative supersedes lived reality, it is not asking for agreement—it is rehearsing obedience. “Believe only what we say, not what you see” is not a slogan of democracy; it is the oldest reflex of power afraid of the truth.
The danger is not that lies are told. Lies have always existed. The danger is when lies are institutionalized—when they are delivered with the authority of law, amplified by compliant media, and insulated from challenge by accusations of disloyalty. At that point, truth becomes a subversive act, and memory itself is treated as a threat.
History teaches us that authoritarian systems do not begin by banning speech; they begin by ridiculing it. They do not begin by imprisoning dissenters; they begin by discrediting them. They do not begin by denying reality; they begin by reframing it—selectively, strategically—until reality feels negotiable.
What happened to Rene Nicole Good forces us to confront a harder truth: that citizenship is not a passive status. It is an obligation. A democracy cannot survive on compliance alone; it requires friction. It requires citizens who are willing to sit with discomfort, to ask questions that have no immediate answers, and to resist the seduction of easy narratives.
Resistance does not always look like protest. Sometimes it looks like remembering. Sometimes it looks like refusing to repeat a lie, even when it would be simpler. Sometimes it looks like saying, quietly but firmly, “That is not what I see.”
The strength to resist begins internally. It begins with intellectual humility—the willingness to admit uncertainty—paired with moral courage—the refusal to surrender judgment. Authoritarianism feeds on fear and fatigue. It withers in the presence of clarity and solidarity.
We should fear any government that treats skepticism as betrayal, grief as inconvenience, and truth as a managed resource. But fear alone is not enough. Fear must sharpen resolve, not paralyze it.
A free society is not defined by the absence of power, but by the presence of limits—limits enforced by citizens who understand that democracy is not something handed down, but something held up, daily, by vigilance.
If they want us to believe only what they say and not what we see, then seeing clearly becomes an act of defiance. And remembering—especially those they would rather we forget—becomes an act of justice.
Of Angels, Miracles and Open Hearts – 12/15/25
Threads of a Human Heart
As I prepare for open-heart surgery, I find myself both sobered and profoundly grateful. Reviewing my end-of-life papers has a way of bringing life into sharp focus—each choice, each joy, each person who has walked beside me. What I see, looking back, is not fear or regret, but an extraordinary abundance of blessings.
A beautiful daughter and two wonderful grandsons who fill my life with pride and laughter. Six beloved sisters—ages 72 to 84—still vibrant, still here. In all our years together, we have never allowed a quarrel to wound the bond we share. Ours is a family stitched together with old Italian traditions, music flowing through every gathering, song and laughter rising like prayer.
I have been lifted and sustained by a big, loving, extended family who have stood beside me through every chapter—including the dark ones, when cancer came close but did not claim me.
My life has been shaped and defined by the performing arts. Theater and music are not simply what I do—they are who I am. The thrill of collaboration, the quiet exchange between performer and audience, the alchemy of directing, producing, and coaching—it has all been sacred work.
And beyond the stage, I have found joy and purpose in service: in my church, in my neighborhood, in my art communities, and through years of volunteering—from AIDS Action Committee (1981–1995) to AIDS Worcester, and later at the pediatric oncology hospice with my beloved therapy dog, Ella, for ten precious years.
Who could ask for a more rewarding 40-year career in high tech—traveling the world, experiencing new cultures, learning new languages. Realizing, with every encounter, that our humanness is what binds us. How small this world truly is, and how deep the yearning runs to save each other—and this earth that continues to love us, even when we do not love her back.
So, as I face this next step, I am not afraid. My heart—literally and figuratively—has been full to overflowing. I have lived richly, loved deeply, and been loved in return. For all that I have, and all that I have done, I am profoundly grateful.
Remembering 9/11: Twenty-four Years Later
Twenty-four years have passed since that September morning when the sky was impossibly blue, and then turned to smoke and ash. In the days and weeks that followed, we were broken, but we were together. Neighbors reached across fences, strangers held one another in crowded vigils, firefighters became our heroes, and compassion rose like a second flag over ground zero. Our grief was immense, but so was our unity.
Today, that spirit feels far away. We are no longer a people who instinctively lean toward one another in times of pain, but a nation divided against itself—sharpened by anger, weaponized by politics. Violence has become routine, and each new act of bloodshed is not met with collective resolve but with polarization. Gun violence, once unthinkable at this scale, has been politicized into endless arguments, and the blame is always placed elsewhere—never on us, never on our unwillingness to act.
America was once known, however imperfectly, for its compassion, its courage, and its sense of social justice. On 9/11, the world watched a nation gather its wounded heart and hold it tenderly, refusing to be defined only by tragedy. Now, we seem defined by division. The ashes of ground zero remind us not only of lives lost but of a unity that has itself turned to ash.
If this anniversary means anything, it must be to remember that in our darkest hour we found one another—and to ask if we are still capable of that kind of grace.
Woodstock – August 16
Woodstock
We came barefoot into the fields,
the sky dripping music and rain,
our bodies pressed close in the mud,
hearts warm as the campfires
we believed could burn away
the old world.
We thought love was a weapon
that could dismantle empires,
that every guitar chord
was a law rewritten,
that every sunrise
was the first day of the new earth.
We shouted peace until our throats bled,
until the flags frayed in our hands.
We thought we would inherit
the halls of Congress,
reshape the courts,
turn power into a public trust
for everyone,
not just for a fortunate few.
But the years are long and merciless.
We have lived to see
the gap between mansion and shelter
widen until it swallows the horizon.
Social justice is a banner
faded by wind and rain,
while politics is wielded
for grift,
for empire,
for the quiet corruption
of men in robes and women in power suits
who bow only to the wealthiest one percent.
I still hear the music sometimes,
faint, behind the static.
It smells of wet grass and patchouli,
of hope before the fever broke.
We were so young.
We were so certain.
And now,
the mud has dried to dust.