Lessons
WHEN SEEING BECOMES AN ACT OF DEFIANCE
There are moments when a single death feels heavier than death itself—when it becomes a symbol, a question mark burned into the public conscience. The murder of Rene Nicole Good is one of those moments. Not only because a life was taken, but because of what followed: the silence, the distortion, the insistence that we look away from what our own eyes and instincts tell us is wrong.
Authoritarianism does not always arrive in boots and banners. More often, it comes softly, wearing the language of order, safety, and expertise. It asks for trust while dismantling accountability. It does not demand belief outright—it conditions it. It repeats its version of events until exhaustion replaces scrutiny, until doubt feels impolite, even dangerous.
What we should fear is not merely violence, but the erasure that follows it. When a government insists that its narrative supersedes lived reality, it is not asking for agreement—it is rehearsing obedience. “Believe only what we say, not what you see” is not a slogan of democracy; it is the oldest reflex of power afraid of the truth.
The danger is not that lies are told. Lies have always existed. The danger is when lies are institutionalized—when they are delivered with the authority of law, amplified by compliant media, and insulated from challenge by accusations of disloyalty. At that point, truth becomes a subversive act, and memory itself is treated as a threat.
History teaches us that authoritarian systems do not begin by banning speech; they begin by ridiculing it. They do not begin by imprisoning dissenters; they begin by discrediting them. They do not begin by denying reality; they begin by reframing it—selectively, strategically—until reality feels negotiable.
What happened to Rene Nicole Good forces us to confront a harder truth: that citizenship is not a passive status. It is an obligation. A democracy cannot survive on compliance alone; it requires friction. It requires citizens who are willing to sit with discomfort, to ask questions that have no immediate answers, and to resist the seduction of easy narratives.
Resistance does not always look like protest. Sometimes it looks like remembering. Sometimes it looks like refusing to repeat a lie, even when it would be simpler. Sometimes it looks like saying, quietly but firmly, “That is not what I see.”
The strength to resist begins internally. It begins with intellectual humility—the willingness to admit uncertainty—paired with moral courage—the refusal to surrender judgment. Authoritarianism feeds on fear and fatigue. It withers in the presence of clarity and solidarity.
We should fear any government that treats skepticism as betrayal, grief as inconvenience, and truth as a managed resource. But fear alone is not enough. Fear must sharpen resolve, not paralyze it.
A free society is not defined by the absence of power, but by the presence of limits—limits enforced by citizens who understand that democracy is not something handed down, but something held up, daily, by vigilance.
If they want us to believe only what they say and not what we see, then seeing clearly becomes an act of defiance. And remembering—especially those they would rather we forget—becomes an act of justice.
Of Angels, Miracles and Open Hearts – 12/15/25
Threads of a Human Heart
As I prepare for open-heart surgery, I find myself both sobered and profoundly grateful. Reviewing my end-of-life papers has a way of bringing life into sharp focus—each choice, each joy, each person who has walked beside me. What I see, looking back, is not fear or regret, but an extraordinary abundance of blessings.
A beautiful daughter and two wonderful grandsons who fill my life with pride and laughter. Six beloved sisters—ages 72 to 84—still vibrant, still here. In all our years together, we have never allowed a quarrel to wound the bond we share. Ours is a family stitched together with old Italian traditions, music flowing through every gathering, song and laughter rising like prayer.
I have been lifted and sustained by a big, loving, extended family who have stood beside me through every chapter—including the dark ones, when cancer came close but did not claim me.
My life has been shaped and defined by the performing arts. Theater and music are not simply what I do—they are who I am. The thrill of collaboration, the quiet exchange between performer and audience, the alchemy of directing, producing, and coaching—it has all been sacred work.
And beyond the stage, I have found joy and purpose in service: in my church, in my neighborhood, in my art communities, and through years of volunteering—from AIDS Action Committee (1981–1995) to AIDS Worcester, and later at the pediatric oncology hospice with my beloved therapy dog, Ella, for ten precious years.
Who could ask for a more rewarding 40-year career in high tech—traveling the world, experiencing new cultures, learning new languages. Realizing, with every encounter, that our humanness is what binds us. How small this world truly is, and how deep the yearning runs to save each other—and this earth that continues to love us, even when we do not love her back.
So, as I face this next step, I am not afraid. My heart—literally and figuratively—has been full to overflowing. I have lived richly, loved deeply, and been loved in return. For all that I have, and all that I have done, I am profoundly grateful.
Remembering 9/11: Twenty-four Years Later
Twenty-four years have passed since that September morning when the sky was impossibly blue, and then turned to smoke and ash. In the days and weeks that followed, we were broken, but we were together. Neighbors reached across fences, strangers held one another in crowded vigils, firefighters became our heroes, and compassion rose like a second flag over ground zero. Our grief was immense, but so was our unity.
Today, that spirit feels far away. We are no longer a people who instinctively lean toward one another in times of pain, but a nation divided against itself—sharpened by anger, weaponized by politics. Violence has become routine, and each new act of bloodshed is not met with collective resolve but with polarization. Gun violence, once unthinkable at this scale, has been politicized into endless arguments, and the blame is always placed elsewhere—never on us, never on our unwillingness to act.
America was once known, however imperfectly, for its compassion, its courage, and its sense of social justice. On 9/11, the world watched a nation gather its wounded heart and hold it tenderly, refusing to be defined only by tragedy. Now, we seem defined by division. The ashes of ground zero remind us not only of lives lost but of a unity that has itself turned to ash.
If this anniversary means anything, it must be to remember that in our darkest hour we found one another—and to ask if we are still capable of that kind of grace.
Woodstock – August 16
Woodstock
We came barefoot into the fields,
the sky dripping music and rain,
our bodies pressed close in the mud,
hearts warm as the campfires
we believed could burn away
the old world.
We thought love was a weapon
that could dismantle empires,
that every guitar chord
was a law rewritten,
that every sunrise
was the first day of the new earth.
We shouted peace until our throats bled,
until the flags frayed in our hands.
We thought we would inherit
the halls of Congress,
reshape the courts,
turn power into a public trust
for everyone,
not just for a fortunate few.
But the years are long and merciless.
We have lived to see
the gap between mansion and shelter
widen until it swallows the horizon.
Social justice is a banner
faded by wind and rain,
while politics is wielded
for grift,
for empire,
for the quiet corruption
of men in robes and women in power suits
who bow only to the wealthiest one percent.
I still hear the music sometimes,
faint, behind the static.
It smells of wet grass and patchouli,
of hope before the fever broke.
We were so young.
We were so certain.
And now,
the mud has dried to dust.
When Silence Screams: The Hubris and Apathy of a Broken Leadership
In the aftermath of the tragic shootings that claimed the lives of members of the Hortman and Hoffman families, what should have been a solemn moment of collective grief and unity was instead met with a telling void—no statement, no gesture, no condolences from the White House. Not even the minimal decency of recognizing innocent lives lost. In place of empathy, there was deflection. From the GOP, we witnessed what has become a familiar routine: politicized finger-pointing and bad-faith rhetoric that serve only to deepen divides and avoid responsibility.
This absence of compassion, this gross indifference, is not just morally staggering—it’s emblematic of the rot that has metastasized in our political leadership. Under Donald Trump’s influence, cruelty has not only become policy—it has become performance. Hubris has eclipsed humility, and political gain has all but extinguished our national conscience. The failure to even pretend to care speaks volumes about how desensitized and broken this administration is, and how far we’ve drifted from any recognizable moral compass.
We are watching, in real time, the normalization of violence—not merely as a societal ill, but as a partisan tool. When the lives of American citizens are reduced to narrative pawns in a culture war, when leaders refuse to grieve with their people because it doesn’t serve their agenda, we lose more than just lives. We lose a piece of our shared humanity. And when silence is all that comes from the top, it becomes deafeningly clear: the message is that some lives are unworthy of acknowledgment, depending on whose grief is politically convenient.
What kind of country have we become when our government cannot deliver even the most basic human response—sympathy? How is it possible that in the face of senseless violence, our leaders offer not unity, but opportunism? It is grossly, dangerously unacceptable.
This isn’t just a failure of leadership. It is a deliberate choice—a choice to divide, to deflect, and to harden the national heart. That choice diminishes us all.
I am deeply saddened—though no longer surprised—that this country has once again reached an all-time low. Under this administration, “lowest” has become a consistent signature, an evolving standard by which tragedy is not mourned but manipulated. We must not accept this as normal. We must not allow apathy to replace accountability, or arrogance to replace empathy. Because if we do, the silence will only grow louder, and the violence more routine.
We are better than this. We must demand better than this.
The Quiet Geometry of My Birthday
There is something oddly reverent about waking up on your birthday. The world doesn’t look different—no sudden shimmer in the air, no mystical alignment of clouds—but the day feels stitched with a quieter thread, as if time is whispering your name through the fabric of everything. I woke up today into that softness.
It’s not that I expect balloons or fanfare. In fact, as I grow older, I crave the opposite. The loud parties of childhood—frosted cake, torn wrapping paper, sugar highs—have faded into the background like the static of an old radio. Now I find myself drawn to the stillness between the moments, the subtle arithmetic of having lived another year. What did I learn? What did I let go of? Who did I become?
My birthday has become a kind of private ritual. A checking in. I notice things more keenly on this day: how the morning light folds gently through my window, how my face in the mirror carries traces of every version of me I’ve ever been. I smile at the child I was, the one who thought being an adult meant answers. I nod respectfully to the teenager who scribbled dreams into the margins of notebooks. I hold a kind of quiet companionship with the recent me, the one who survived some things I didn’t see coming.
This day no longer feels like it’s about celebration so much as it is about gratitude. Not the kind shouted in social media captions, but the private kind. Gratitude that I’m still here. That despite the jaggedness of time and the occasional loneliness that comes with living in a human body; living alone, I keep unfolding into myself. I keep arriving.
I’ve started a tradition. Each year on my birthday, I write a letter to myself. Not full of goals or resolutions, but reflections. What was I afraid of this year? What surprised me? Where did I feel most alive? These letters become time capsules of truth, written not for who I hope to become, but for the person I already am—worthy, unfinished, real.
Birthdays, I’ve come to believe, are less about marking time and more about inhabiting it. Today I don’t need a party. I just need a long walk, a cup of coffee, a moment to breathe and remember that life is not made of milestones alone, but of mornings like this—quiet, slow, brimming with meaning.
Another year. Another layer. Another unfolding. And for that, I am deeply, simply grateful.
The Blind Spot in Business Gratitude
In my 40-year career as a business leader, executive director and manager, the greatest and most sustainable lessons I learned is “thank you,” to a working team, can either light a fire of pride or smother morale within a company. I am currently retired from the global companies for which I gratefully worked – with terrific colleagues and teams. However, I decided to go back to work in a small, locally owned company and a memo from the new owner to “the staff,” reminded me of The Blind Spot in Business Gratitude. If you are a manager, I hope you find this of value.
Every manager knows to thank their sales team when revenue spikes. They might praise marketing after a successful campaign or applaud operations after a smooth product launch. But too often, recognition stops there.
What about the finance analyst who optimized the budget? The administrative department who meets, greets, answers phones and is the center of office communication? The IT specialist who kept systems running?
This tutorial will help you, as a thoughtful manager, develop a habit and strategy for thanking everyone—not just those in the spotlight. Because when gratitude is inclusive, engagement, retention, and morale rise across the board.
Lesson 1: Shift Your Perspective—Success is a Network, Not a Ladder
The Ladder Mindset
• Gratitude climbs up and down, focusing only on clear wins.
• Departments at the top (sales, marketing, leadership) get the bulk of the thanks.
The Network Mindset
• Every function is a node; success is shared through connections.
• No single win happens in isolation.
Action Tip: When reviewing a success story, ask: “Who else made this possible, indirectly or behind the scenes?”
Lesson 2: Build a Thank-You Map
Before the next all-hands or internal memo, take 15 minutes to do the following:
1. List the visible contributors. (e.g., product, sales)
2. Identify enabling roles.
o Who maintained the systems they used?
o Who processed the invoices?
o Who recruited and trained the staff?
3. Name the invisible champions.
o Culture builders
o Front desk, security, HR, compliance
o Cleaners, cafeteria workers, and vendors
Outcome: A holistic view of contributors that often go unrecognized.
Lesson 3: Use Language That Elevates Everyone
When expressing gratitude, avoid language that creates a hierarchy of importance. Instead of:
“Big thanks to the sales team for driving our success.”
Try:
“Our success was a team effort—from the sales team who closed the deals to the support teams who kept everything running behind the scenes.”
Bonus Phrases:
• “Thanks to every hand that touched this project.”
• “Appreciation goes to both the seen and unseen contributors.”
• “Your impact may not always be visible, but it’s always vital.”
Lesson 4: Create Rituals of Recognition
Make inclusive gratitude a habit—not a one-off.
• Monthly Gratitude Roundups: Ask teams to submit unsung heroes.
• Rotating Spotlights: Feature different departments in internal comms, regardless of headline wins.
• “Thank You Forward” Chains: Encourage team members to thank someone who helped them—and explain why.
• Meetings:
o If you are meeting consistently with a few teams, try to figure out a way to meet with all teams, even if it means to bring everyone up to speed/on the same page.
o No department/person appreciates being the last to know because they are never appropriately briefed on changes, updates or new directions taking place in the company.
o Administrative roles are as important to the business’ success as any other department
o Make everyone feel like a contributor of the business.
Key Rule: Every recognition ritual must be designed to reveal the invisible.
Lesson 5: Model It in Meetings and Messages
Managers set the tone. In your next leadership call or team meeting:
• Pause to name contributors from lesser-known departments.
• Share a brief story of someone who made a quiet, meaningful impact.
• Ask other leaders: “Who else made this possible?”
Remember: Gratitude expressed publicly builds culture. Gratitude expressed privately builds trust.
Conclusion: Thanking Widely Is Thinking Wisely
When you recognize all contributors—not just the headline-makers—you create a culture where everyone feels seen. This is not just good manners. It’s smart leadership. Because people repeat the work that gets recognized, and if you only see part of the picture, you’ll only inspire part of the effort.
So, next time you say, “thank you,” look beyond the obvious. The real engine of your business includes everyone.